Why Do We Have Families?

Families are a unique relationship that we have in this world due to its permanence. With few exceptions, family is family and no matter what we're going to be attached to them. Even people who spend years separated from their families often eventually return to become part of the family again.

I do not believe that this organization is by accident. I think the families we are given here are meant to teach us directly about our relationship with God. No matter what, we are God's children; He created all of us and placed us here on earth. Although we can make decisions that disappoint Him we do not cease to be His children. The relationship a child has his or her parents is directly patterned after the relationship we have with Him.

As we seek to strengthen our families and our relationships in our families we will come to understand God better. If we are good and faithful in these relationships, then we will please Him; if we are not, then we cannot please Him. It is as simple as President David O. McKay taught:

No other success can compensate for failure in the home.

Now the obvious, sad fact is that many are not born into homes where they are loved by their father and mother. Some have single parents, some have abusive parents, some are orphaned, some are ignored, or many other possible unpleasant situations.

This begs the question: why would God allow innocent children to suffer? How can this be His plan? The answer I have found for this question is two-fold: first, God will not force us to live correctly. We are meant to learn from this life and be tried. You cannot effectively test someone if you force them to choose the correct answers. Second, God's plan is for us to all have rich and fulfilling family relationships. Like so many of the things we suffer here, in almost all cases the lack of a loving family is because of disobedience to His plan.

Families are given to us as gifts to support us through the challenges of this life and are one of the most effective ways we can learn about our Heavenly Father. I know that if we work to develop love in these relationships it will bring us more peace and happiness than most anything can in this world.

Daily Scripture Reading

One of my permanent life-goals is to read the scriptures daily. Bishop Davies, of the president bishopric of the Church, included daily scripture reading as part of a sure foundation for our lives. I find it to be so in my life.

In taking some time to read the scriptures every day, we bring the Holy Ghost into our lives. The Lord wants us to understand the scriptures and wants to teach each of us from them; to accomplish this He sends the Holy Ghost, the Comforter, the Teacher of all Truth. I feel that I'm more able to receive His teachings and guidance every day when I study daily.

Another blessing is that we can always have the word of God on and in our minds. If the scriptures are in our memories - even if we aren't perfect at recalling them - they can be brought to our remembrance. The Lord will help us internalize His teachings, helping us along the path of discipleship.

I know that the God wants us to know Him. Not have ideas about Him or for Him to be a marvelous mystery to us, but for us to know Him as our Father. Reading the scriptures doesn't accomplish this by itself; we also need to pray and follow the teachings we receive from the scriptures, but reading the scriptures daily will put us on the path to know our Father.

And this is ^alife ^beternal, that they might ^cknow thee the only true ^dGod, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast ^esent.

John 17:3

The Ninety And Nine And The One

I have always been intrigued by the Parable of the Lost Sheep. From Luke 15:4-7:

4 What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine ^ain the wilderness, and go after that which is ^blost, until he find it?

 5 And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.

 6 And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.

 7 I say unto you, that likewise ^ajoy shall be in heaven over one ^bsinner that ^crepenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.

I'm very interested in this idea of leaving ninety and nine in the wilderness and going after the one. On its face, it doesn't sound correct to me. Perhaps this is partially because I'm not a sheep herder, but it seems to me that all of the ninety and nine need the shepherd, and how can you sacrifice 99 to go after 1? The math doesn't add up for me.

However, sheep aren't helpless, and neither are the people that the sheep represent in the parable. A flock of sheep will protect the sheep in the flock, but a sheep that is alone is almost completely helpless. One of the lessons the Lord is teaching here is that we have a responsibility to take care of each other, or else the ninety and nine would be just as helpless as the one in the wilderness.

I think another lesson from this parable is that the Lord loves each of us and is aware of our different situations. He knows when we are among the ninety and nine and when we are the one lost in the wilderness, and He attends to us appropriately. This tells me that when I don't feel the Lord's support its not because He has abandoned me - its because He knows that its not what I need at this time, and I should have faith that He'll know when I do need it.

Constancy

One thing that always amuses me are the advertisements I see to get you in shape in a heartbeat. It seems there are dozens of ways for people to get you in shape post haste. For men, the pitchmen for the products have bodies that it takes years of weight-lifting and conditioning to accomplish. I always think: "doesn't everyone know the right way to stay in shape is just to eat healthy and exercize all of the time?"

Those who know me know I couldn't be a pitchman for one of those products, but my point is simply that most things have to be done constantly in order to be done right. Becoming constant in our worship and service of others is a must for developing greater faith and being closer to God.

Think of being a parent. If I ignore my children most of the time, but sometimes am available to talk to them, play with them, or otherwise give them attention, will they trust me? Now, imagine if I dedicate time to them every day and make an effort to connect with them every day? Which father is more likely to be trusted with life's greater pains and doubts? Which father will be able to help his children more?

One of the great challenges of getting to know our Father in Heaven is that He most likely won't come to our house and speak to us face to face. He doesn't do that because He wants us to have faith, so He connects with us in different ways, and He is even willing to help us recognize these ways, but it takes some learning on our part.

In other words, He is the Father that reaches out to us every day, but we have to learn to recognize and understand how. Daily, sincere prayer helps us recognize these things more. Daily, focused scripture study does the same. Regularly serving others, even in small ways will also bring us to Him.

Just as you cannot learn to speak a foreign language by occasional efforts, you cannot develop the relationship you want with God erratically. You might learn a few phrases or even be able to order food on a menu that way, but I know that life will be richer and peace will be deeper for those that are constant before the Lord.

"Let Virtue Garnish Thy Thoughts Unceasingly"

45 Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven. 

46 The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever. - (D&C 121:45-46)

Section 121 of the Doctrine and Covenants is one of my favorite chapters of scripture. It is exceptionally clear and direct. Lately I've thought a lot about this phrase: "Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly." I think this is one of the most difficult commandments given to us, with some of the greatest blessings promised.

This is one of the most difficult challenges offered in scripture, followed by some of the choicest blessings. You could re-organize it like this:

Commandments

 - Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith.
 - Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly.

Blessings

 - Then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God.
 - The doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.
 - The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion.
 - Thy scepter (shall be) an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth.
 - Thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.

An immature approach to following the commandments is to wonder how much you can get away with and still be okay in the Lord's eyes. I think this is the natural approach for almost all people: commandments tell us what to do, including things not to do, so we should test the limits of how much we actually have to obey.

If we are going to let virtue garnish our thoughts unceasingly, we are going to need to keep all immoral thoughts from our minds at all times. In other words, we cannot have this spiritually immature attitude of pushing morality as far as we can. We need to keep ourselves clean, even in our thoughts known only to us and God. As I write that, I must acknowledge that I have a long way to go to keep this commandment, but the blessings are powerful.

To me, it is obvious why someone who is virtuous, even in her or his thoughts, would be more comfortable in the presence of God, understand His doctrine more fully, and feel the Holy Ghost more readily. All of these things seem more comfortable in a pure mind. The last two blessings seem less obvious; I know that I am more comfortable with having a pure-minded ruler who loves completely.

As a father, the idea that my family - one application of dominion - flows unto me forever and ever without compulsion sounds more like heaven than perhaps anything else. I believe in God and in His Son, Jesus Christ. I know that They love us.

Tolerance

I believe that whatever we choose to believe in, we can gracefully accept that people will disagree. There is no need to believe that anyone who disagrees on a particular point is anti-family, brainwashed, incompetent, racist, homophobic, hates the poor, hates the rich, or otherwise incapable of legitimate thought. In a time where public discourse is increasingly polarizing, we should rise above the conflict and disagree civilly.

I am as passionate about what I believe in as almost anyone. Part of my motivation for writing this blog is how much I value my faith, and how much it has helped me. My hope is that it might bless others equally; I can say without equivocation that there is no place in Christianity for intolerance.

Many confuse tolerance with acceptance. Being courteous to someone who is smoking a cigarette doesn't mean you endorse smoking, just as being rude to anyone sinning doesn't equate to righteousness.

As in all things, it is more worthwhile to espouse virtues than to decry frailties. When I was a missionary, I spent some of my time helping get visas for other missionaries in the country where I served. One of the people at the embassy asked us what we stood for? We told her that God has called a prophet today just as He did in the past, and that this prophet teaches of Christ right now. She then asked: what do we criticize? We told her that we weren't in the business of criticism. She was amazed at this answer; she fully expected us to denounce at least some of the churches in the country.

Christ gave us the Gospel of Peace, and peace is the message we should take to the world. We must do this without bickering, with respect, and most of all with love. If we do not live by this then there is no chance people will accept His message; all will simply question why we do not practice what we preach.

I know that God loves all His children. He does not excuse our sins, yet He loves us as a perfect Father loves His sons and daughters. If we are to follow Christ, we need to cultivate this love, and tolerance is an entry step on that path. 

Reverence

Today I asked myself why is reverence so important? Some places - both religious and secular - go to extreme lengths to maintain reverence. Certainly, anywhere that you are asking children or adolescents to be reverent it is going to be a lot of work. I know that it is worth it, but I wanted to write down some thoughts on the subject.

I think an okay definition of reverence could be the appropriate respect for where you are and what you're doing. Obviously, someone who is at a cemetery shouldn't be loud and obnoxious, just as someone who is handling a firearm should be careful. To show adequate respect to God or His House I think we should also recognize that He knows better than we do and that we need to seek knowledge from Him.

The reason reverence is so important is simple - it facilitates communion with the Holy Ghost which will instruct and purify us. The still, small voice is very difficult to hear if we are irreverent.

I think about the Nephites to whom Christ appeared after His resurrection. They had to hear the Father's voice three times, and on the third time they only understood because they "... did open their ears to hear it; and their eyes were towards the sound thereof; and they did look steadfastly towards heaven, from whence the sound came." (3 Nephi 11:5)

I also consider the temples of our Church. To borrow a concept from my father-in-law, praying in the temple often feels like a 'local call.' It is easier to receive answers to prayers and understand the Lord's will in the temple because His Spirit lives there. It can live there because of the reverence that abides there as well as the worthiness of those that enter.

I have often heard the idea expressed that God speaking to a person makes that person chosen or special, but I believe that our Father is constantly speaking to all of us - His children. The disconnect is on our end. Reverence will bring us a step closer to recognizing and hearing His voice more often.

Of the greatest moments of my life, many of them have been very quiet; if you were sitting in an adjacent room you wouldn't necessarily have known that anything was happening. In these sacred moments I was communing with my Father, receiving healing and understanding. I am not capable of sustaining these periods constantly nor forever - that is why I refer to them as moments. I believe that as I become more disciplined in my reverence I will receive more of them more often and benefit more from it.