The Best Christmas Gifts

This Christmas, mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust. Write a letter. Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in word and deed. Keep a promise. Forgo a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Apologize. Try to understand. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Be kind. Be gentle. Laugh a little more. Express your gratitude. Welcome a stranger. Gladden the heart of a child. Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth. Speak your love and then speak it again.

Christmas is a celebration, and there is no celebration that compares with the realization of its true meaning—with the sudden stirring of the heart that has extended itself unselfishly in the things that matter most.

This quote is from the Prophet Howard W. Hunter's last public address before he passed away. President Hunter gave this talk at the LDS Church's Christmas devotional that year. I'd recommend you read the entire talk; it is really beautiful and powerful. It also contains this wonderful quote:

A life filled with unselfish service will also be filled with peace that surpasses understanding.

My understanding of his talk and these quotes is rather simple: the Lord's life was a life of service and love. If we want to truly celebrate Christmas, we should replicate something He would do. I believe that celebrating Christmas this way will last far beyond the thrill of new gifts; it will change us in ways that keep on giving.

Peace On Earth

At the time of the Savior's birth, angels heralded His birth by saying, among other things: "on the earth peace." (Luke 2:14) We now have many Christmas carols among other things qhich refer to this same saying, and I'm fascinated by the Lord's birth being so tied to peace on earth.

When we think about the Savior's life, at least the part that we have records of, it would be hard to say it abounded with peace. From shortly after when He began His mortal ministry people started plotting to kill Him; He was constantly accused of violating God's commandments; people attempted to stone Him several times, and at various times His followers either left en masse or attempted to forcibly anoint Him their earthly king. In the end, He died in the most brutal possible fashion as the culmination of a vicious conspiracy. At least to me, this doesn't sound like a life marked by peace.

At the same time, can any doubt that the Man from Nazareth was constantly filled with peace? Even nailed on the cross He had the calmness to ask His Father to forgive the Roman soldiers who were pawns in the plot against Him. I testify that He had a perfect, abiding peace.

These facts suggest to me that the angels weren't referring to a lack of war, stable governments, and prosperous economies when they appeared to the shepherds. I think they were saying that Christ would teach us and show us how to be at peace in the world, despite its imperfections and challenges. This theme was so important to the Lord that He taught it to His Apostles during His last moments with them before His crucifixion:

Peace I leave with you, my ^bpeace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be ^ctroubled, neither let it be afraid.

The Savior's life is a resounding testimony of the power of inner-peace. He knew He was the Son of God. He knew why He was suffering, why He was hated, and why His body would have to experience so much physical torture. He knew us then and knows us now; His desire to help and bless us gave Him the peace to complete the Atonement despite pain and suffering whose depth we know not.

The world is not at peace now, and it isn't necessarily trending towards peace either. The Savior's Atonement is in effect now, and His arm is not weakened. I testify that He can bring us peace. He can heal our broken hearts.

Giving To One Another

I love Christmastime for many reasons, including how it invites me to reflect on giving to others. There is a scripture in D&C 49:20 teaches plainly on this subject. The Lord is teaching about the purpose of creation and how to use it when He offers this warning:

 But it is not given that one man should ^apossess that which is above another, wherefore the ^bworld lieth in ^csin.

I can't say that I'm perfect in following or even understanding this scripture and what the Lord wants us to do in light of this teaching, but it makes me want to be generous and reach out to meet the needs of those around me; it makes me want to help those around me better themselves.
Obviously, there are many ways you can apply this scripture to your life, but one part is not debatable: the Lord would like for His children to be equals. I believe this scripture is teaching us to give to the poor and needy, and to help them better themselves.

I am fortunate to have a job that allows me to provide for my family and have some extra to use at my discretion. I have found that when I donate money I have more. It is not a concept that adds up mathematically, but it is something that has repeatedly proven true in my life. Giving money makes me happier and more content in my life. I know that our Father wants us to find ways to help those around us; I know that He blesses us as we try to make that happen, and we are happier knowing that we are fulfilling this obligation to Him and helping those around us.

Repentance

Repentance is the second principle of the Gospel according to the Articles of Faith. The most common application of repentance is in seeking forgiveness for sin; a practical definition of repentance could include any change we make to become closer to God.

To repent, we 1) recognize that we are wrong, 2) feel Godly sorrow, (see verses 10-11) 3) confess our sins appropriately, and 4) stop committing the sin. Sometimes, repenting may be as simple as following these steps once and moving on, while for other sins it may be a process that we work on for longer periods of time until we are finally able to overcome the sin. The latter is often true for overcoming addictions or changing other difficult behaviors.

The most obvious blessing from repenting is gaining forgiveness from God; we are removing barriers that would prevent us from getting as close to Him as we otherwise might. Preach My Gospel's lesson on repentance adds insight into some other blessings from repentance:

As we repent, our view of ourselves and the world changes. As we change, we recognize that we are children of God and that we need not continue making the same mistakes over and over. If we sincerely repent, we turn away from our sins and do them no more. We resist any desire to commit sin. Our desire to follow God grows stronger and deeper.

 This was an eye-opener for me the first time I read it. I had never considered these benefits of repentance, despite them being absolutely true. One of the overall things we can learn from applying the Atonement is that we aren't perfect, but our Heavenly Father understands that, and Christ has paid the price to make up the difference. Repenting regularly is very empowering. We can be more than we are, and repentance can take us there.

As I reflect on my life I can see lots of mistakes that I've made, and I can't count the number of things I'd like to have done better. Instead of dwelling on the many shortcomings I choose to put my faith in repentance. I can see the tremendous progress I've made as I have repented. I can see the Hand of God lifting me higher, bit by bit, over the years through His Son's Atonement. I am far from perfect even in simple things, but repentance makes that alright.

The Power Of Gratitude

I believe that being grateful is not only necessary to please God but also a key to being happy. Its a natural tendency to come to expect the things that we experience every day. It is not a surprise that I have electricity, running water, heat, food, and so many other necessities. Does the fact that I always have them require that I lose all gratitude for them? I believe that we can cultivate gratitude in our lives, even for these basic necessities.

Grateful people experience the world fundamentally differently compared to ungrateful people. Obviously, most people are not 100% committed in either direction, but there are certain principles of thankfulness, and if we convert ourselves to them we will be much more likely to feel gratitude on a daily basis.

And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments. - D&C 59:21

We depend on God for everything and do next to nothing in our lives completely independently. We should all recognize that we cannot control the world. We can plant crops but we cannot make it rain; we can graduate college but we cannot force job openings; we are constantly at the mercy of the unknown and uncontrollable. There is One to whom nothing is unknown or uncontrollable, and we should recognize His influence and guiding hand in our lives. When we accept that our successes are not ours alone, it becomes much easier to be grateful for them.

Another key difference is pride. We can consider the example of working to advance a career: one works for a few years and achieves a promotion. A prideful man may see the promotion was long overdue, minimizing any gratitude and joy for the improvement. A humble man will recognize that many things factor into a promotion: the company must be doing fairly well, have the money to increase payroll, efforts must be recognized, the boss must appreciate him, etc. Many of these things cannot be controlled and should be attributed to Grace. Humility has a myriad of benefits of which increased gratitude is one.

True gratitude makes life rich; the lack thereof can make even the rich poor. I testify that this is true and that I have experienced it in my own life.

Connecting With The Lord

My belief is that the Lord is constantly attempting to speak to us and influence our lives. He has established many ways that He accomplishes this:

- Holy Scriptures or the writings of His prophets
- The teachings of His current prophets and local leaders
- The Holy Ghost
- Now, the Church has a youtube channel, several websites, and really uses every technology possible to reach out to us.

Why then, is it so hard to stay in tune and connected to the Lord? Why is it so difficult to constantly feel His influence and peace in our lives? How can we minimize these challenges?

For me, the biggest challenge might just be the pulls of daily life. I have a lot of responsibility at work and at home. My children keep me very busy and I have to help make sure my wife has personal time. My job can be very stressful at times and sometimes commands my attention even though I'm not there. Double that for children and thinking of them, plus wanting to have a social life, be a good friend to my friends, and get to play some sports to try to stay in some kind of shape.

God often doesn't confront. All of us will come face-to-face with Him one day, of this I am certain, but if I become lax in almost all of my worldly responsibilities, there is often an immediate reminder. My boss will remind me of essential assignments if I fall behind; my children will misbehave if I don't spend time with them; it goes on and on.

Instead, He speaks to me through the still, small voice of the Spirit. It truly is a still, small voice, and can therefore be a little too easy to ignore at times.

My solution, or what I attempt to do, is to seek regular time to reflect and pray. I need that contact with my Heavenly Father. I need His guidance throughout my life because I know that He knows what I need better than I do. My goal is to have some quiet time every day to connect with God. When I am consistently successful there are no words to describe what a blessing it is. Its constant reassurance and guidance, combined with peace like a river. When I lapse, which unfortunately is frequent, I simply cannot sustain those feelings. I want to do better at taking time to listen, to meditate, and to sing.

A Lesson From Nho Meriku

During my service as a missionary I remember a man named Nho Meriku (or Senhor Americo). He was a member of the local congregation of the Church there; he came to church every Sunday, and he tried to make sure his family attended as well. However, I felt regularly frustrated by his level of commitment to the Church. He didn't serve in any calling and he didn't really appear to do anything other than show up; he didn't even seem to teach his family the Gospel other than hoping they'd learn it at church. I often wondered what it would take to get him going, and why he appeared to not understand the beauty of the Gospel enough to be proactive about it.

At some point while I was in the area we visited his family and were talking with them about how the Lord is mindful of each of us, His children. Most of the time that we visited, Nho Meriku didn't say much, but this topic prompted him to share a story. He told us of a time when he was living in Angola - people from Cape Verde sometimes moved there to find work - and a militia was attacking the village where he lived. Everyone fled to the jungle to hide there until the militia would leave, and at the time one of his children was a baby. Nho Meriku desperately needed to find some powder to make milk for the baby, and somehow he found it. He said he was probably the only person to find a can of milk powder out there in the jungle, which he and I both feel is a fairly miraculous occurrence.

Nho Meriku probably said some more things, but I got stuck there thinking about the gravity of his experience. I couldn't shake the thought of how nothing in my life was even remotely similar to what this man had been through. How could I judge him for what I thought he ought to be doing when I had no hope of understanding his world? This was a major turning point in my life to help me see that I am not capable of judging another when it comes to spiritual things.

The Atonement means that if I do my best the Lord's sacrifice will make up the difference, and I could never know what Nho Meriku's best was because I didn't understand him in the way I needed to in order to know what his best would be. Perhaps if you've spent time fearing for you and your families' lives, having a house, food, and safety feels like you're already in the Celestial Kingdom.

Of course, this is a dramatic example. Most of the people I have trouble not judging these days grew up in the USA, just like me, and have probably also never had to run for their lives. However, the principle is the same: you never know what life someone else has lived, and you can never know what thoughts and feelings dominate their mind and heart. I can never know how to adequately judge another person.

In Matthew 7:1-2, the Savior warned:

1. Judge not, that ye be not judged.

2. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

I now understand that to mean that when I judge others I am condemning myself because my salvation requires considerations I can't include in my judgments.

At the same time, I realize that not judging others makes me much happier. When I am judgmental I'm focused on others and what they are doing, which leads to envy and feelings of entitlement. When I'm generous in my thoughts and evaluations of others I worry about them less and spend more time thinking about things I can control and influence; this empowers me because I'm not focused on the infinite supply of what things I can neither change nor handle.

I know that our Father in Heaven roots for us and has given us the Gospel to help us be at peace, and the path towards judging less is certainly a path that makes us more at peace with the most important components of the world - the people in it.