The Power Of Gratitude

I believe that being grateful is not only necessary to please God but also a key to being happy. Its a natural tendency to come to expect the things that we experience every day. It is not a surprise that I have electricity, running water, heat, food, and so many other necessities. Does the fact that I always have them require that I lose all gratitude for them? I believe that we can cultivate gratitude in our lives, even for these basic necessities.

Grateful people experience the world fundamentally differently compared to ungrateful people. Obviously, most people are not 100% committed in either direction, but there are certain principles of thankfulness, and if we convert ourselves to them we will be much more likely to feel gratitude on a daily basis.

And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments. - D&C 59:21

We depend on God for everything and do next to nothing in our lives completely independently. We should all recognize that we cannot control the world. We can plant crops but we cannot make it rain; we can graduate college but we cannot force job openings; we are constantly at the mercy of the unknown and uncontrollable. There is One to whom nothing is unknown or uncontrollable, and we should recognize His influence and guiding hand in our lives. When we accept that our successes are not ours alone, it becomes much easier to be grateful for them.

Another key difference is pride. We can consider the example of working to advance a career: one works for a few years and achieves a promotion. A prideful man may see the promotion was long overdue, minimizing any gratitude and joy for the improvement. A humble man will recognize that many things factor into a promotion: the company must be doing fairly well, have the money to increase payroll, efforts must be recognized, the boss must appreciate him, etc. Many of these things cannot be controlled and should be attributed to Grace. Humility has a myriad of benefits of which increased gratitude is one.

True gratitude makes life rich; the lack thereof can make even the rich poor. I testify that this is true and that I have experienced it in my own life.

Connecting With The Lord

My belief is that the Lord is constantly attempting to speak to us and influence our lives. He has established many ways that He accomplishes this:

- Holy Scriptures or the writings of His prophets
- The teachings of His current prophets and local leaders
- The Holy Ghost
- Now, the Church has a youtube channel, several websites, and really uses every technology possible to reach out to us.

Why then, is it so hard to stay in tune and connected to the Lord? Why is it so difficult to constantly feel His influence and peace in our lives? How can we minimize these challenges?

For me, the biggest challenge might just be the pulls of daily life. I have a lot of responsibility at work and at home. My children keep me very busy and I have to help make sure my wife has personal time. My job can be very stressful at times and sometimes commands my attention even though I'm not there. Double that for children and thinking of them, plus wanting to have a social life, be a good friend to my friends, and get to play some sports to try to stay in some kind of shape.

God often doesn't confront. All of us will come face-to-face with Him one day, of this I am certain, but if I become lax in almost all of my worldly responsibilities, there is often an immediate reminder. My boss will remind me of essential assignments if I fall behind; my children will misbehave if I don't spend time with them; it goes on and on.

Instead, He speaks to me through the still, small voice of the Spirit. It truly is a still, small voice, and can therefore be a little too easy to ignore at times.

My solution, or what I attempt to do, is to seek regular time to reflect and pray. I need that contact with my Heavenly Father. I need His guidance throughout my life because I know that He knows what I need better than I do. My goal is to have some quiet time every day to connect with God. When I am consistently successful there are no words to describe what a blessing it is. Its constant reassurance and guidance, combined with peace like a river. When I lapse, which unfortunately is frequent, I simply cannot sustain those feelings. I want to do better at taking time to listen, to meditate, and to sing.

A Lesson From Nho Meriku

During my service as a missionary I remember a man named Nho Meriku (or Senhor Americo). He was a member of the local congregation of the Church there; he came to church every Sunday, and he tried to make sure his family attended as well. However, I felt regularly frustrated by his level of commitment to the Church. He didn't serve in any calling and he didn't really appear to do anything other than show up; he didn't even seem to teach his family the Gospel other than hoping they'd learn it at church. I often wondered what it would take to get him going, and why he appeared to not understand the beauty of the Gospel enough to be proactive about it.

At some point while I was in the area we visited his family and were talking with them about how the Lord is mindful of each of us, His children. Most of the time that we visited, Nho Meriku didn't say much, but this topic prompted him to share a story. He told us of a time when he was living in Angola - people from Cape Verde sometimes moved there to find work - and a militia was attacking the village where he lived. Everyone fled to the jungle to hide there until the militia would leave, and at the time one of his children was a baby. Nho Meriku desperately needed to find some powder to make milk for the baby, and somehow he found it. He said he was probably the only person to find a can of milk powder out there in the jungle, which he and I both feel is a fairly miraculous occurrence.

Nho Meriku probably said some more things, but I got stuck there thinking about the gravity of his experience. I couldn't shake the thought of how nothing in my life was even remotely similar to what this man had been through. How could I judge him for what I thought he ought to be doing when I had no hope of understanding his world? This was a major turning point in my life to help me see that I am not capable of judging another when it comes to spiritual things.

The Atonement means that if I do my best the Lord's sacrifice will make up the difference, and I could never know what Nho Meriku's best was because I didn't understand him in the way I needed to in order to know what his best would be. Perhaps if you've spent time fearing for you and your families' lives, having a house, food, and safety feels like you're already in the Celestial Kingdom.

Of course, this is a dramatic example. Most of the people I have trouble not judging these days grew up in the USA, just like me, and have probably also never had to run for their lives. However, the principle is the same: you never know what life someone else has lived, and you can never know what thoughts and feelings dominate their mind and heart. I can never know how to adequately judge another person.

In Matthew 7:1-2, the Savior warned:

1. Judge not, that ye be not judged.

2. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

I now understand that to mean that when I judge others I am condemning myself because my salvation requires considerations I can't include in my judgments.

At the same time, I realize that not judging others makes me much happier. When I am judgmental I'm focused on others and what they are doing, which leads to envy and feelings of entitlement. When I'm generous in my thoughts and evaluations of others I worry about them less and spend more time thinking about things I can control and influence; this empowers me because I'm not focused on the infinite supply of what things I can neither change nor handle.

I know that our Father in Heaven roots for us and has given us the Gospel to help us be at peace, and the path towards judging less is certainly a path that makes us more at peace with the most important components of the world - the people in it.

Dealing With Hypocrisy in Church

I have met many people who have lost faith - either completely or partially - due to hypocrisy in church. These have included friends who are Latter-day Saints (Mormons) and who belong or belonged to other churches. The viewpoint, as near as I can understand, is that they see people who are in good standing and viewed positively by the congregation, but they have seen disregard one church principle or another. It becomes more and more uncomfortable to hear this person's viewpoints, to deal with them in church, etc. and eventually this gets upsetting enough that one no longer feels happy in church and decides to pursue spirituality through some other means.

This might not perfectly describe everyone's situation, but this is how its been for most of the people I've known.

This is something I've thought about a lot; I admit I'm also bothered by situations like this. Its tough to hear someone go on about a principle when you have seen that they do not live it. I won't go into specific examples, but I'm pretty sure we've all seen this before.

The first question I try to ask myself is: how do I know that he or she doesn't live that principle? If I believe in the Atonement, then living a Gospel principle means doing your honest best and having faith in the Lord's sacrifice to make up the difference between how well you can live it and how well it should be lived. I will admit that my personal best can vary greatly at times in my life; I'm grateful that God doesn't hold me to my absolute best at all times. I believe that He judges based on every situation.

If I accept that, should I say that I know that someone is a hypocrite? Or could it be my evidence is based on an idea of a best effort that didn't match them that day or doesn't match them ever?

Another question I try to ask is why do I go to Church? Why do I consider myself a Mormon? Certainly, I would like to be completely comfortable and happy at Church. I would like to be surrounded by exemplary people who make me better by association, but that really isn't the reason. I want to know my Father in Heaven. I feel a deep need to know Him and to learn truth. If I have issues with others in the congregation, does it change the truth? Does it change the experiences I've had? For me, it doesn't. I think President Uchtdorf said it correctly: I should "hold fast to the words of eternal life."

The Importance Of Difference

My understanding of God's plan for us on earth is that we are each sent to have experiences that will prepare us to return to live with Him. Here we can learn the necessary lessons to prepare us to receive everything that He wishes to give us, and that without this learning we would be unable to enjoy these blessings even if we had them.

No two people live the same life; everyone appears to suffer and prosper differently. It is extremely common to wish for a different situation in life. Some people wonder why they had to be born in the country they were born in; others wonder why their career isn't what they wanted, why they get sick so often, so severely, younger than they thought, or wish to change any number of things that can't be controlled.

I think perhaps one of the greatest challenges of this life is accepting God's will when we wish it were different. It is one of the largest acts of faith that He asks of us, and in the times where I have actually managed to accept His will over mine I've learned that His plan is better than my plan. The Lord knows what we need more than we do, and how to shape us into what we need to become better than we do.

This is what makes me the most uncomfortable with the idea behind OrdainWomen.org. I can understand the idea behind the organization, but I do not understand where it is anyone's place to demand that Church doctrine be changed, or that the Church receive a revelation to match their will.

I think that asking questions and having dialogue are infinitely valuable. In my experience, doubts and serious questions do not vanish if you ignore them. However, my faith is that God leads this Church through Thomas S. Monson, His ordained prophet. I don't believe that everything in the Church is perfect, but I believe constant revelation is far superior to public opinion.

Finally, I think that all of the worst trials in life will be things we wish didn't happen to us. In the moment we are going through them nothing will be more valuable than the faith to accept God's will and the confidence to wait on the Lord. I pray that those eagle wings may come to us, and that we may work now to develop such faith.

Having Compassion One Of Another

The title for this post is from 1 Peter 3:8 and is what Elder Holland cited as the inspiration for his talk in this past general conference. Elder Holland chose to speak about those who suffer from mental illnesses or emotional disorders.

Personally, I was moved by his speech. This talk to me is a tremendous testimony of God's love for us and His awareness of all of His children. I picture the loneliness of someone who suffers of any of these illnesses; imagine the loneliness from knowing that no one else in the world experiences the same reality that you do! Perhaps equally lonely are the spouses, parents, and siblings, friends, or others who long to fully connect to their loved one again but cannot.

It is a bitter and terrible loneliness, but for me this talk was a powerful reminder that none of us are ever completely alone. There is One who bought us with His own blood. He paid, as Elder Holland put it, an unfathomable price to be able to reach and to help each of us. When and how the healing may come is something I do not know specifically; it will probably vary greatly, but we can know that it is in our Lord Jesus Christ's power to save, even from this.

After having listened to conference I feel strengthened in my faith in the Lord. I feel reassured that He knows us and loves us. And He does.

Your Worth

Many things try to tell us what we are worth. For some, they feel that they are measured by a grade point average, their skill in sports, whether or not they have acne, a date to the dance, what college they are accepted into, their SAT/ACT scores, or how popular they happen to be.

As you get older, the metrics change but their validity doesn't. It could be what car you drive, the clothes you can afford, how much your job pays, what career you have, how many friends you have on facebook, how many views your blog gets, or how big your house is. Others feel its more about what crafts you do with your children and how often you share them on pintrest or instagram. Still others might view it as whether or not you have money to lend to your adult children or how much is saved away in retirement accounts.

No matter who you are, there are many in the world who would like to tell you how to measure how valuable you are. For the right price, they can make you more valuable. Whether your weak point is that you need the right creams, more exercise, a diet, a new financial plan, etc. they can fix it and make you valuable.

The short-coming is that none of these things can measure you. You are a daughter or son of God, the Most High, the Ruler of creation. You come from a noble birthright and your value is in your potential to be like your Heavenly Father. We all have a divine destiny and inheritance, but we have to accept it.

Obviously, it is important to become better versions of ourselves. I do not think any responsible person would advocate doing poorly in school or intentionally becoming unhealthy. The distinction is that we can't let any of this define us. We are more than test scores, numbers on a scale, likes on social media, or any other rank or measurement known to man.

I pray that when the temptation comes to accept a metric as an assignment of personal value that we can think or say what Moses said in the face of temptation:

...Who art thou? For behold, I am a son of God, in the similitude of his Only Begotten; and where is thy glory, that I should worship thee? (Moses 1:13)

Even things that are important in this life pale in comparison to our relationship with our Father. As I have worked to improve myself, it has helped me to start from the point of view that I am a child of God with the potential to accomplish my goals. We are not inadequate beings that needs these metrics to value ourselves.