I've been thinking about how strong people who are truly humble become, or how we can all be strong in moments of humility. I think that in pretty much any circumstance we're better off being humble than being prideful, so let me present two brief case studies.
Case 1: I'm 90% sure I'm right about something.
- Humility: consider reasonable objections. If I'm right or if I'm wrong, considering these things appropriately will probably make me understand the idea better by the time I'm done.
- Pride: rule out other ideas. My 90% is better than most people's 110%, so why waste my time?
Case 2: I've reached my conclusion, but I am confronted with a challenge to my conclusion.
- Pride: discount all evidence to the contrary, and if eventually I can't deny it any more then I'll pretend I didn't really think that in the first place and claim people misunderstood.
- Humility: consider if there's merit to the challenge. If there is, think it through and decide whether or not to change your mind. Doing this with humility, when wrong, will help you change your mind.
- What if you're right? Does humility require you to endlessly ponder being wrong? In my opinion you can accept certain things as proven and remain humble. This is why I say consider if there's a merit to the challenge.
Obviously these are very abstract case studies, but I think that being humble is more practical in almost all cases, if your objective is reaching the truth. These simple examples are backup for what President Benson eloquently taught: "Pride is a damning sin in the true sense of that word. It limits or stops progression." I know these are hardly exhaustive examples, but I think that in just about any situation a humble person is likely to progress faster than a proud one.
However, we haven't yet discussed the strength from humbling ourselves before God. What if you knew that something you were doing was something God meant for you to do? Wouldn't it help you stick to it and help uplift you through difficult times? How could you gain that conviction? In my estimation, only someone who has humbled themselves and asked Heavenly Father can truly gain this conviction.
I remember a decision I had to make a few years ago. Essentially, I needed to decide whether or not I was willing to accept some additional responsibility. It was a situation where no one would've blamed me if I'd said no, which is what I fully intended to do. Fortunately, I received the inspiration to pray about it. When I did, the answer was unmistakeable: I needed to accept. It wasn't easy to carry out; the reasons I was going to say no were all obstacles that still had to be overcome, but knowing that it was what I was supposed to be doing sustained me. Eventually, I was able to measure up to the task. Looking back, accepting the responsibility has blessed me tremendously; it is among the best decisions I've ever made.
I wish I could sustain that decision-making ability always, but I have a very long way to go. I can say that when I look at my life with perspective I see that humility has blessed me and uplifted me, while pride has damned me, just as the prophet taught.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Can It Be? - A Poem
Can it be?
They say this Man
can heal broken hearts.
It is no small thing
for doctors to set broken bones
and carefully treat illness.
Despite all procedure
and protocol
some are still lost.
The cure for
pains that are hidden
is knowable to none.
The unspeakable,
too painful to codify
with spoken words -
surely this pain
will never leave me:
it can't be articulated.
And yet,
as I live and breathe
He does this and more.
The cancer of my soul
not merely contained
but healed without a scar.
They say this Man
can heal broken hearts.
It is no small thing
for doctors to set broken bones
and carefully treat illness.
Despite all procedure
and protocol
some are still lost.
The cure for
pains that are hidden
is knowable to none.
The unspeakable,
too painful to codify
with spoken words -
surely this pain
will never leave me:
it can't be articulated.
And yet,
as I live and breathe
He does this and more.
The cancer of my soul
not merely contained
but healed without a scar.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Dealing With Death
Of the trials that can shock us to the core, dealing with the death of someone close to us has to be about as difficult as anything else. For a few months now I've been collecting my thoughts on this subject, and now seems as good a time as any to share them.
First, I want to say that in my estimation grieving is necessary, helpful, and appropriate. I have heard some say that if you believe in the potential for eternal life then death doesn't need to be sad. I agree that death won't be sad forever, but there are people I certainly wish I could see again. There are inputs I won't have any more in this life, and to me that is sad. I have learned the hard way that refusing to confront emotion can be very damaging. The bard was onto something when through MacDuff he affirmed the value of "[feeling] it as a man."
Different experiences I've had bring me comfort on the subject. I remember my Uncle JP, when he was dying, said that he saw his parents waiting for him. I don't believe that this was a hallucination due to a failing physical body; I believe that the veil is thinner as you approach it. It comforts me to know that those who leave loved ones here on earth will be with loved ones still when they pass from this life. We cannot directly comfort them nor they us but others can, and to me that is beautiful. The sealing powers will take ailing bodies home to ancestors - including in many cases parents - who long to be closer to them, to know and to make known. None are alone in the eternities.
The mother of that same uncle, my sweet Granny Karnes, suffered for many years preceding the end of her life. For many years rheumatoid arthritis gradually took more and more of physical health; dementia came later to attack her mental health. Most of my memories of her include a hospital bed which was in her living room. When I picture her now, I see her flying. I know that none of these diseases can hurt her or cause her pain any more. I among others mourned her death but I take comfort that she is free from pains that never left her all the years I knew her on this earth. Not all that die suffer chronically before their death, but all become freed from physical pain, including the cruel pains of mental illness, and to me this is also beautiful.
Finally, I know that through the Atonement, all accounts will eventually be settled. Many in this life are born into poverty, tribulations, handicaps, or what have you. Nothing is more common to mankind than trials. Death is one of the steps towards rectifying everything that happens in life. I do not know how it works or why things happen how they happen, but I know that there is a plan. All of us experience what we need to have the opportunity to return to live with our Heavenly Father again, and I believe that more of the plan will be knowable and comprehensible after death than before. To put it differently, I believe that many who cannot feel the warm embrace of Christ's love now will feel it stronger after passing through the veil, and to me that is profoundly beautiful.
First, I want to say that in my estimation grieving is necessary, helpful, and appropriate. I have heard some say that if you believe in the potential for eternal life then death doesn't need to be sad. I agree that death won't be sad forever, but there are people I certainly wish I could see again. There are inputs I won't have any more in this life, and to me that is sad. I have learned the hard way that refusing to confront emotion can be very damaging. The bard was onto something when through MacDuff he affirmed the value of "[feeling] it as a man."
Different experiences I've had bring me comfort on the subject. I remember my Uncle JP, when he was dying, said that he saw his parents waiting for him. I don't believe that this was a hallucination due to a failing physical body; I believe that the veil is thinner as you approach it. It comforts me to know that those who leave loved ones here on earth will be with loved ones still when they pass from this life. We cannot directly comfort them nor they us but others can, and to me that is beautiful. The sealing powers will take ailing bodies home to ancestors - including in many cases parents - who long to be closer to them, to know and to make known. None are alone in the eternities.
The mother of that same uncle, my sweet Granny Karnes, suffered for many years preceding the end of her life. For many years rheumatoid arthritis gradually took more and more of physical health; dementia came later to attack her mental health. Most of my memories of her include a hospital bed which was in her living room. When I picture her now, I see her flying. I know that none of these diseases can hurt her or cause her pain any more. I among others mourned her death but I take comfort that she is free from pains that never left her all the years I knew her on this earth. Not all that die suffer chronically before their death, but all become freed from physical pain, including the cruel pains of mental illness, and to me this is also beautiful.
Finally, I know that through the Atonement, all accounts will eventually be settled. Many in this life are born into poverty, tribulations, handicaps, or what have you. Nothing is more common to mankind than trials. Death is one of the steps towards rectifying everything that happens in life. I do not know how it works or why things happen how they happen, but I know that there is a plan. All of us experience what we need to have the opportunity to return to live with our Heavenly Father again, and I believe that more of the plan will be knowable and comprehensible after death than before. To put it differently, I believe that many who cannot feel the warm embrace of Christ's love now will feel it stronger after passing through the veil, and to me that is profoundly beautiful.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
The Family: A Proclamation to the World Part II
I'd like to continue writing about this 18.5 year old proclamation. This blog post will be about the first part of the third-to-last paragraph. The first post discusses a different part of the same paragraph.
We try to follow Christ; His entire life and sacrifice were putting everyone ahead of Himself. He thought and worked for our needs, not His. As parents we do this in weak and imperfect ways, but it can help us learn a bit about His love.
I think I can offer a simple example about the learning experiences of raising children. Children misbehave, and tantrums are especially hard to deal with; one often feels like using the harshest discipline available to force the child to stop immediately. However, tantrums are often motivated by being tired, scared, hungry, needing a diaper change, or something more than just misbehaving. An exhausted child often can't behave well, and in many cases yelling makes it worse. In many cases the best solution is to solve the underlying problem. Eventually, this can help us realize that even when we know we are right we often shouldn't lord it over those who are wrong, because this is usually unproductive and incorrect.
Every child is entitled to be born to married, loving parents who are faithful to each other and their children. Imagine a world filled with individuals that honored this right of children above individualistic rights. Certainly, being a faithful member of a family requires many sacrifices, including some that are very difficult. All those who decide to entitle their families with this blessing will experience tremendous joy in their family, and will know of the unspeakable blessing that a family is in their lives.
*Obviously, not everyone has the chance to raise children in this life. My understanding of the plan of salvation is that we will all have the experiences in this life that we need to prepare us to receive exaltation in God's Kingdom. It can be extremely painful to realize that God won't give us something we desperately want, but I believe in an Infinite Atonement that will eventually correct every inequality.
The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan.I know that families are the structure that God has given us to help us through this life. There are many benefits to family life, not the least of which is how much parents learn from attempting to raise children. Raising children can help you learn by putting someone else ahead of yourself and by giving you experiences that are hard to find elsewhere*.
We try to follow Christ; His entire life and sacrifice were putting everyone ahead of Himself. He thought and worked for our needs, not His. As parents we do this in weak and imperfect ways, but it can help us learn a bit about His love.
I think I can offer a simple example about the learning experiences of raising children. Children misbehave, and tantrums are especially hard to deal with; one often feels like using the harshest discipline available to force the child to stop immediately. However, tantrums are often motivated by being tired, scared, hungry, needing a diaper change, or something more than just misbehaving. An exhausted child often can't behave well, and in many cases yelling makes it worse. In many cases the best solution is to solve the underlying problem. Eventually, this can help us realize that even when we know we are right we often shouldn't lord it over those who are wrong, because this is usually unproductive and incorrect.
Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.This is an intriguing quote. We live in a very individualistic world, preoccupied with the rights (or entitlements) of the individual. The list of things society says we have a right to is ever-growing, including at times the ridiculous. Some parts of society will say its our right to eat out, have the best cable television package, and drive an expensive car for example. However, this sentence speaks of the rights of the children brought into this world.
Every child is entitled to be born to married, loving parents who are faithful to each other and their children. Imagine a world filled with individuals that honored this right of children above individualistic rights. Certainly, being a faithful member of a family requires many sacrifices, including some that are very difficult. All those who decide to entitle their families with this blessing will experience tremendous joy in their family, and will know of the unspeakable blessing that a family is in their lives.
*Obviously, not everyone has the chance to raise children in this life. My understanding of the plan of salvation is that we will all have the experiences in this life that we need to prepare us to receive exaltation in God's Kingdom. It can be extremely painful to realize that God won't give us something we desperately want, but I believe in an Infinite Atonement that will eventually correct every inequality.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Recognizing And Receiving Answers to Prayers
Early in modern Church history, Oliver Cowdery wanted to help with the translation of the Book of Mormon. While he wasn't wildly successful, the experience he had benefits us all because of the counsel he received on the matter in D&C 9:7-9:
Whether making an important decision, trying to answer one of life's heavier questions, or whatever it might be, what has worked best for me is to do everything I can to resolve it myself, but always be attentive to direction I receive in response to prayers.
Obviously, this isn't an easy thing to do. The more you think about it and the more you have determined it yourself, the more likely you are to become attached to whatever solution you come up with. However, if we are praying along the way, we can give the Lord many opportunities to guide us throughout the process, as well as many opportunities to seek and express our own humility. Without humility, it is unlikely that we will ask "with a sincere heart, with real intent," and therefore less likely that we'll receive answers to our prayers, and even less likely that we'd follow them if we did receive them.
One example of how active receiving answers to prayers is comes in 1 Nephi 11-15. In these chapters, Nephi is conversing with an angel. Its interesting to note that the angel asks a lot of questions. Many things are not said directly; Nephi is invited to interpret much of what he is shown and told, and then the angel confirms his interpretation. I've never seen an angel, but my experiences receiving answers have been similar.
I've been actively involved in almost all of the most memorable and impactive experiences of my life. The Lord answers our prayers to teach us and direct us, and He invites us to be involved in receiving those answers so it isn't simply in one ear and out the other.
I know first-hand that God answers prayers. Every time I learn more about Him it makes me recognize how much He loves us and wants to talk to us, because we are literally His children. Prayer is among the greatest gifts we have as His children, and I know that He wants all of us to use it.
The Lord is teaching Oliver Cowdery - and all of us - that receiving answers to prayers is often an active process. I do not believe that the Lord wants robots; we are all His children. He doesn't want us to be passive in our own lives.7 Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me.
Whether making an important decision, trying to answer one of life's heavier questions, or whatever it might be, what has worked best for me is to do everything I can to resolve it myself, but always be attentive to direction I receive in response to prayers.
Obviously, this isn't an easy thing to do. The more you think about it and the more you have determined it yourself, the more likely you are to become attached to whatever solution you come up with. However, if we are praying along the way, we can give the Lord many opportunities to guide us throughout the process, as well as many opportunities to seek and express our own humility. Without humility, it is unlikely that we will ask "with a sincere heart, with real intent," and therefore less likely that we'll receive answers to our prayers, and even less likely that we'd follow them if we did receive them.
One example of how active receiving answers to prayers is comes in 1 Nephi 11-15. In these chapters, Nephi is conversing with an angel. Its interesting to note that the angel asks a lot of questions. Many things are not said directly; Nephi is invited to interpret much of what he is shown and told, and then the angel confirms his interpretation. I've never seen an angel, but my experiences receiving answers have been similar.
I've been actively involved in almost all of the most memorable and impactive experiences of my life. The Lord answers our prayers to teach us and direct us, and He invites us to be involved in receiving those answers so it isn't simply in one ear and out the other.
I know first-hand that God answers prayers. Every time I learn more about Him it makes me recognize how much He loves us and wants to talk to us, because we are literally His children. Prayer is among the greatest gifts we have as His children, and I know that He wants all of us to use it.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Receiving the Priesthood
Today I've had the opportunity to reflect on the importance of the Priesthood and how it has affected my life. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints all men and young men who are active in the Church and maintain certain standards of conduct can be ordained to the Priesthood. Starting at 12 a young man can become a Deacon, with progressive ordinations at 14 and 16. Each new one comes with a few more duties, more responsibility, and more potential for blessings. As you become a man, there is a minimum age (18) for when you can become an Elder and be ordained to the higher Priesthood, but things don't happen as automatically. A commitment to hold the Melchizedek Priesthood makes a larger jump in terms of duty, responsibility, and potential for blessings.
I remember the day I was ordained an Elder. My surviving grandfather made the trip as well as one of my uncles. My father ordained me. After being ordained, Grandpa Beer told me: "What you got to day is the best thing there is." That was all I remember him saying about it. He didn't multiply words or attempt to explain things more than that. Perhaps he knew that my attention span was still growing? At any rate, it was the perfect sermon for me, and has stayed with me since.
D&C 84:19-20 provides a great lesson on the implications of the Priesthood:
As far as the key to the knowledge of God, I don't claim to have a lot of knowledge but I can share a brief thought: Christ taught that to find our life, we should lose it (Matt. 16:25). If we are serving in the Priesthood, we will put others before ourselves. I think that this is one practical way to gain the knowledge of God. President Faust taught a lot more on this subject.
I know that we can all learn these lessons of the Priesthood and have power in it through righteousness and humility. God wants us to understand and come to know Him, and He will help us get there if we will be led.
I remember the day I was ordained an Elder. My surviving grandfather made the trip as well as one of my uncles. My father ordained me. After being ordained, Grandpa Beer told me: "What you got to day is the best thing there is." That was all I remember him saying about it. He didn't multiply words or attempt to explain things more than that. Perhaps he knew that my attention span was still growing? At any rate, it was the perfect sermon for me, and has stayed with me since.
D&C 84:19-20 provides a great lesson on the implications of the Priesthood:
19 And this greater apriesthood administereth the gospel and holdeth the bkey of the cmysteries of the kingdom, even the key of the dknowledge of God.I know that this scripture teaches the truth. Many of the most powerful spiritual experiences I have been blessed with came through participating in a Priesthood ordinance. One that stands out in memory happened almost ten years ago, in Praia, Cape Verde. I remember confirming a man a member of the Church; for a few brief minutes the connection between myself and my Father felt absolute. It reaffirmed all of my beliefs; most of all that I was doing His work and spreading His word.
As far as the key to the knowledge of God, I don't claim to have a lot of knowledge but I can share a brief thought: Christ taught that to find our life, we should lose it (Matt. 16:25). If we are serving in the Priesthood, we will put others before ourselves. I think that this is one practical way to gain the knowledge of God. President Faust taught a lot more on this subject.
I know that we can all learn these lessons of the Priesthood and have power in it through righteousness and humility. God wants us to understand and come to know Him, and He will help us get there if we will be led.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
The Family: A Proclamation to the World Part I
I love the proclamation on the family, given in 1995 by President Hinckley and the leadership of the Church. I'm going to write a series of posts about it of which this is the first. In the middle of the third-to-last paragraph it says:
One of the things that doesn't always seem obvious when you're engaged and when you're first married is how much your spouse will upset you, or how bad he or she will hurt you at times. I'm not saying it'll be something terrible or even something intentional, but conflicts arise in marriages and you have to move past them. Recognizing you are wrong will mean a lot to your spouse; sincere apologies and working to right your mistake will heal your relationship.
I believe my Father's statement implies that forgiveness is also essential. When you're with someone for a long time they will have done many things over the years that have hurt you. Even if these are all small things like getting home late for dinner, little things build up. The weight of even small grudges can become a tremendous burden in any relationship. We should forgive our spouses as the Lord forgives us all - completely. He doesn't even remember sins we repent of and that should be our goal. Forgiving completely allows the healing to go so deep as to remove even the emotional scars of any pain.
Faith and prayer can be strong foundational stones that support us through the most difficult times of life; they are equally powerful in marriage. Our Heavenly Father wants our marriage to be sweet, joyous and sacred. I personally know that His Hands are ready to lead us in building our families.
The second to last principle mentioned is work. Nobody gets places worth going without working. I don't believe that marriages stay strong because a couple is just a perfect fit for each other. I think the best marriages happen because of work.
Finally, we get to wholesome recreational activities. Everyone feels pressure and stress in life. I admit that many of the times where there have been arguments at home the root cause comes from outside, like an awful week at work. Having fun is a great way to handle stress, and minimize these kind of fights. Get to know how to help your spouse relax, his or her favorite games, music, dance, or whatever it is that you can enjoy together and make sure to do these things when life gets turbulent.
Attempting to follow this advice has helped me in my own marriage. I know that living it better will make my marriage even better. I am lucky to have experienced how sweet life can be with a loving, supporting companion by my side. Nothing I have accomplished is mine; everything is ours. These principles are the key to a relationship where you mutually elevate and edify each other, and a fantastic goal for all.
Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.I think this is fantastic marriage advice to everyone. I was discussing this recently with my dad - he has managed to stay married for 39 years and counting - and he said that he thinks repentance might be the most important word in that sentence.
One of the things that doesn't always seem obvious when you're engaged and when you're first married is how much your spouse will upset you, or how bad he or she will hurt you at times. I'm not saying it'll be something terrible or even something intentional, but conflicts arise in marriages and you have to move past them. Recognizing you are wrong will mean a lot to your spouse; sincere apologies and working to right your mistake will heal your relationship.
I believe my Father's statement implies that forgiveness is also essential. When you're with someone for a long time they will have done many things over the years that have hurt you. Even if these are all small things like getting home late for dinner, little things build up. The weight of even small grudges can become a tremendous burden in any relationship. We should forgive our spouses as the Lord forgives us all - completely. He doesn't even remember sins we repent of and that should be our goal. Forgiving completely allows the healing to go so deep as to remove even the emotional scars of any pain.
Faith and prayer can be strong foundational stones that support us through the most difficult times of life; they are equally powerful in marriage. Our Heavenly Father wants our marriage to be sweet, joyous and sacred. I personally know that His Hands are ready to lead us in building our families.
The second to last principle mentioned is work. Nobody gets places worth going without working. I don't believe that marriages stay strong because a couple is just a perfect fit for each other. I think the best marriages happen because of work.
Finally, we get to wholesome recreational activities. Everyone feels pressure and stress in life. I admit that many of the times where there have been arguments at home the root cause comes from outside, like an awful week at work. Having fun is a great way to handle stress, and minimize these kind of fights. Get to know how to help your spouse relax, his or her favorite games, music, dance, or whatever it is that you can enjoy together and make sure to do these things when life gets turbulent.
Attempting to follow this advice has helped me in my own marriage. I know that living it better will make my marriage even better. I am lucky to have experienced how sweet life can be with a loving, supporting companion by my side. Nothing I have accomplished is mine; everything is ours. These principles are the key to a relationship where you mutually elevate and edify each other, and a fantastic goal for all.
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