The Family: A Proclamation to the World Part I

I love the proclamation on the family, given in 1995 by President Hinckley and the leadership of the Church. I'm going to write a series of posts about it of which this is the first. In the middle of the third-to-last paragraph it says:

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

I think this is fantastic marriage advice to everyone. I was discussing this recently with my dad - he has managed to stay married for 39 years and counting - and he said that he thinks repentance might be the most important word in that sentence.

One of the things that doesn't always seem obvious when you're engaged and when you're first married is how much your spouse will upset you, or how bad he or she will hurt you at times. I'm not saying it'll be something terrible or even something intentional, but conflicts arise in marriages and you have to move past them. Recognizing you are wrong will mean a lot to your spouse; sincere apologies and working to right your mistake will heal your relationship.

I believe my Father's statement implies that forgiveness is also essential. When you're with someone for a long time they will have done many things over the years that have hurt you. Even if these are all small things like getting home late for dinner, little things build up. The weight of even small grudges can become a tremendous burden in any relationship. We should forgive our spouses as the Lord forgives us all - completely. He doesn't even remember sins we repent of and that should be our goal. Forgiving completely allows the healing to go so deep as to remove even the emotional scars of any pain.

Faith and prayer can be strong foundational stones that support us through the most difficult times of life; they are equally powerful in marriage. Our Heavenly Father wants our marriage to be sweet, joyous and sacred. I personally know that His Hands are ready to lead us in building our families.

The second to last principle mentioned is work. Nobody gets places worth going without working. I don't believe that marriages stay strong because a couple is just a perfect fit for each other. I think the best marriages happen because of work.

Finally, we get to wholesome recreational activities. Everyone feels pressure and stress in life. I admit that many of the times where there have been arguments at home the root cause comes from outside, like an awful week at work. Having fun is a great way to handle stress, and minimize these kind of fights. Get to know how to help your spouse relax, his or her favorite games, music, dance, or whatever it is that you can enjoy together and make sure to do these things when life gets turbulent.

Attempting to follow this advice has helped me in my own marriage. I know that living it better will make my marriage even better. I am lucky to have experienced how sweet life can be with a loving, supporting companion by my side. Nothing I have accomplished is mine; everything is ours. These principles are the key to a relationship where you mutually elevate and edify each other, and a fantastic goal for all.