A Lesson From Nho Meriku

During my service as a missionary I remember a man named Nho Meriku (or Senhor Americo). He was a member of the local congregation of the Church there; he came to church every Sunday, and he tried to make sure his family attended as well. However, I felt regularly frustrated by his level of commitment to the Church. He didn't serve in any calling and he didn't really appear to do anything other than show up; he didn't even seem to teach his family the Gospel other than hoping they'd learn it at church. I often wondered what it would take to get him going, and why he appeared to not understand the beauty of the Gospel enough to be proactive about it.

At some point while I was in the area we visited his family and were talking with them about how the Lord is mindful of each of us, His children. Most of the time that we visited, Nho Meriku didn't say much, but this topic prompted him to share a story. He told us of a time when he was living in Angola - people from Cape Verde sometimes moved there to find work - and a militia was attacking the village where he lived. Everyone fled to the jungle to hide there until the militia would leave, and at the time one of his children was a baby. Nho Meriku desperately needed to find some powder to make milk for the baby, and somehow he found it. He said he was probably the only person to find a can of milk powder out there in the jungle, which he and I both feel is a fairly miraculous occurrence.

Nho Meriku probably said some more things, but I got stuck there thinking about the gravity of his experience. I couldn't shake the thought of how nothing in my life was even remotely similar to what this man had been through. How could I judge him for what I thought he ought to be doing when I had no hope of understanding his world? This was a major turning point in my life to help me see that I am not capable of judging another when it comes to spiritual things.

The Atonement means that if I do my best the Lord's sacrifice will make up the difference, and I could never know what Nho Meriku's best was because I didn't understand him in the way I needed to in order to know what his best would be. Perhaps if you've spent time fearing for you and your families' lives, having a house, food, and safety feels like you're already in the Celestial Kingdom.

Of course, this is a dramatic example. Most of the people I have trouble not judging these days grew up in the USA, just like me, and have probably also never had to run for their lives. However, the principle is the same: you never know what life someone else has lived, and you can never know what thoughts and feelings dominate their mind and heart. I can never know how to adequately judge another person.

In Matthew 7:1-2, the Savior warned:

1. Judge not, that ye be not judged.

2. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

I now understand that to mean that when I judge others I am condemning myself because my salvation requires considerations I can't include in my judgments.

At the same time, I realize that not judging others makes me much happier. When I am judgmental I'm focused on others and what they are doing, which leads to envy and feelings of entitlement. When I'm generous in my thoughts and evaluations of others I worry about them less and spend more time thinking about things I can control and influence; this empowers me because I'm not focused on the infinite supply of what things I can neither change nor handle.

I know that our Father in Heaven roots for us and has given us the Gospel to help us be at peace, and the path towards judging less is certainly a path that makes us more at peace with the most important components of the world - the people in it.