Understanding Modesty

Oddly enough, I've read two stories about modesty in the news recently. One about a girl in Canada who felt humiliated by her school's dress code and another about a school in Utah that digitally edited yearbook pictures. Although I'm a strong believer in modesty and teaching the benefits of dressing modestly, I want to note that I don't agree with the way that either of these schools went about it. It seems to me that forcing teenage girls to stand in line and be measured for modesty is ridiculous, embarrassing, and perhaps hypocritical; editing people's yearbook photos without notifying them - and doing it unevenly - also seems silly at best.*

At any rate, some of the discussion around this asks why we don't simply teach boys not to view girls as sexual objects instead of forcing girls to dress a certain way. Some say that teaching girls they must dress modestly is the beginning of blaming rape victims for getting raped. Sadly, there are some people who teach modesty in exactly those ways and say those same horrible ideas. Obviously, no one who is raped deserves it; sexual violence is among the worst sins that one can commit, and the victim is never at fault. However, dressing modestly is important for all, and I want to explain why I believe so.

I believe that all of us, every male and female, is a child of God. I believe that we were given bodies for the purpose of coming to this earth where we are tested and have the chance to learn. Humans were the crowning creation, and in my opinion the people on the earth and the most interesting and beautiful part of it. This is saying a lot when you contemplate the beauty of the earth, but I believe it is true.

With our bodies, God also gave us the power to take His hand and join in creating life. This is a simple, obvious, and powerful reminder that we are divine in nature, not mundane. Our Creator also gave us deep, powerful feelings so that we might join together, and that "... they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh." (Mark 10:8) Twain is a word that means two, and teaching refers to the importance of marriage.

If our bodies are given to us for a divine purpose, shouldn't we treat them as such? When something is important and personal, do we tell everyone about it? Or do we share it only with closer friends in a context where it will be meaningful?

The primary reason for dressing modestly ought to come from how we see ourselves and not from fear for how others might see us. Dressing modestly should be a way that we say to the world: I'm a child of God; I have divine potential and destiny.

In other words, I reject the idea that teaching people (I keep using gender inclusive words because all must dress modestly, and if we are teaching modestly only to women and girls then we are failing.) to dress modestly is meant to shame them. It is quite the opposite. Dressing modestly is meant to help people recognize their divine nature and purpose on this earth; nothing would do more for self-esteem than for all to grasp it.





*I went to a public high school in Chicago that enforced a dress code for yearbook pictures. They would tell people to change their clothes if they felt it didn't meet the school's dress code, and I think that's a very reasonable way to go about it.