Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Learning To Love

Elder Holland said in his talk on Saturday morning that "Christlike love is the greatest need we have on this planet in part because righteousness was always supposed to accompany it." This got me thinking more about the link between love and righteousness.
... bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love;
This is from Alma 38:12, where Alma is giving council to his son Shiblon. Reading this scripture as a young man made me ask myself: why is self-control so important for being able to love others? Now that I have been an adult for a little bit and I have a small amount of experience as a husband and a father the answer is a little more obvious. In many cases, loving someone else means putting their needs before your needs. When you have small children, you often need to put their need for food, sleep, a hug, or something else before your need for peace, quiet, or order. Frequently I see myself needing to learn this lesson again and again, and needing more and more self-control to apply it appropriately.

That is one explanation, but there are far more. Not mentioned in this scripture is that Shiblon's brother seemingly had recently committed adultery instead of doing missionary work. It begs the question: can a man who can't control his lust truly love a woman? Obviously, being in control can mean different things, but certainly a man must be in control enough to recognize that his partner is a person and not an object to be used in order to express real love for her.

Imagine how many hateful things have been said and how many relationships have been ruined because of moments of weakness. All kinds of abuse would either greatly diminish or go away entirely if it weren't for times that we really aren't in control of ourselves. All of the commandments teach us discipline and self-control in one way or another, therefore helping us to love and not hate.

I have personal experience in many parts of my life where my attempts at following God's commandments have lead me to deeper love and understanding. I know that trying to be closer to Him makes me closer to those around me; its making more out of me than I could ever make of myself.

No comments: